At some point in your relationship the idea of living together runs across your mind. Whether you’ve been in a relationship 6 years or 6 months there are questions associated with these thoughts that should be given answers. I recently moved from Maryland to Georgia with my boyfriend and It doesn’t matter how well you think you know your partner, living together will always bring out the good, the bad, and the ugly. I learned that It’s best to make sure you & your partner remain on the same page throughout the entire process through clear and open communication. Luckily I have narrowed down the top 6 questions you should definitely ask your partner before considering signing a lease together. These questions have guided my boyfriend and I to experience more of the good than bad throughout this experience. I know they will do the same for you so let’s get to it! <3
1. Is this a step towards marriage?
Is living together considered a trial run for marriage? Or an excuse not to get married?. These are key questions to ask before considering moving in. In my experience, my boyfriend and I had this conversation and were surprised by how much we think alike. We both agreed that moving in together would help us both out financially and prepare us for marriage. However, people can also use moving in as an excuse not to get married. Thoughts like “Well we already live together, so why get married” can be toxic and ultimately end a relationship if not discussed. Come up with a plan and stick to it.
2. Will we still go on dates?
It sounds weird but seeing each other is not the same as spending quality time. It’s important in any relationship to keep the spark alive by doing romantic gestures for one another. In my opinion, going on dates should become a regular thing regardless if you live together or not. Plus, it’s fun to get dressed up and have a night on the town or explore somewhere new. Just make sure everything is planned out before hand to avoid arguments that could potentially ruin your date.
3. How will we handle all financials?
Now this is a biggie. Financial stress could potentially ruin a relationship. Come up with a plan on how you will address all finances in your home. Will you split the bills 50/50? Or will your partner pay the rent and you pay for groceries? Will we have a savings account for emergencies? These are vital questions that can help avoid arguments and unforeseen situations. Knowing your bills are covered is by far the best stress reliever and you’ll be able to focus on loving your partner.
4. How important is cleanliness to you?
Like I said before, you never truly know someone until you live with them. If you’re a clean freak and your partner is messy, it can drive you straight out the door if you aren’t careful. I suggest observing how your partner lives before having this conversation so that you can get a visual understanding of how they like to live. Asking this question also gives you the opportunity to set boundaries in place before moving in.
5. Do we communicate effectively?
How well you communicate with one another will ultimately determine if your relationship will work out or not. Do your arguments end in compromise or violence? You can set boundaries through clear communication and talk about what pushes your buttons.
6. How would we handle an unplanned pregnancy?
Having a contingency plan for an unplanned pregnancy is crucial. Studies have shown that most women experience pregnancy within the first year of cohabitation. Being on the same page when it comes to finances, living space, and family plans will help you both get through the pregnancy smoothly.